Ocker: K’iyva bergah mate?
English translation: Could I please have a ham burger kind sir?
Yes it’s true, sitting there at the random burger shop in Queenstown, I realised just how yobbo us aussies sounded, when a guy goes “K’iyva bergah”.
The puzzled face of the girl behind the counter said it all… “Can you aussies please learn to pronounce your words properly, separate them so your whole sentence doesn’t sound like just one big weird word, and if you are going to ask for a BURGER please specify which of the 18 flavours we offer…”
I make a mental note to sound like an articulate human being the next time I speak to someone.
“And where are you from?” Someone asks me.
“Oz.”
“Where?!”
Ah you can take the girl out of “Oz” but you can’t damn-well get her to speak any English!
Incidentally the “bergah” shop we were in was a Kiwi South Island favourite, Fergburger. Only go here if you are really hungry and have a big mouth (all Aussies automatically accepted). The burgers are as big as your head and no grace or dignity is maintained in the consumption of these burgers…
Other places in New Zealand you simply must go to eat and/ or drink…
Wellington…
One Red Dog - Fantastic customer service. FANTASTIC food! Gourmet pizzas and pastas with flavours I have never dared to imagine. I had the Greek pizza, with pesto and red onion and feta and… if that pizza was a human I’d marry it…
Wholly Bagel - These bagels changed my life. So many different flavoured bagels, with so many things to put on it!
Maya - Funky popular Nite-club. Great music and set up. I especially like the lounge area!
Rotorua…
Pig’n'Whistle - Great pub. But I especially liked the serve of curly fries! I know… Sounds lame. But they were just great! And they came with an amazing selection of sauces…
Get yourself to a Hangi! A traditional Maori meal where they cook their food underground and use hot rocks. I went to a Maori concert with a Hangi, which I highly recommend. A Maori concert and Hangi are a great way to learn about New Zealand’s indigenous culture. Especially when going to pub after club after pub is making you feel like you’re back home again. It’s also a massive feast! We piled our plates high enough to each feed a small country… Sure beats the backpacker’s strict diet of two-minute noodles and two-minute noodles…
Wild Bean Cafe - It’s cheap, which as a backpacker is really the most important thing. But the real reason I’m mentioning it was that it has, hands down, the world’s BEST CARAMEL SLICE. And I know my caramel slices, I must check every bakery in the world to find the best and so far, Wild Bean Cafe is the winner…
Auckland…
Ok to be honest all my meals were from Nando’s and Burger King and all my time was spent in Irish pubs! Seriously, there is a Burger King on every corner in that place. Don’t get me wrong, I did try something new – whisky instead of bourbon. And let me just say… whisky is way better…
There is one place you should go to (seriously, one place. Sure go to the Sky Tower but after the views of Queenstown it’s really not all that. And you can go on a harbour cruise but it’s nothing compared to Sydney Harbour. I know I’m bias but really!)… Minus 5c. The entire bar is made of ice, including the cups you drink from. And you can only drink vodka based drinks. You’re only allowed to stay in there for half an hour and you’re dressed up like an eskimo so you don’t freeze your arse off. But it’s a fun experience!
Honestly though, Auckland just felt like any city. Busy, a lot of people and not much to do but eat and party. You don’t really experience New Zealand’s culture and “unique-ness”. In fact I would venture to say 95% of the people I met were poms…
